Hi people, I'm Toph.
You might have heard countless stories where someone smokes pot and say its not addictive. My story isn't one of them. This is about my 190th attempt at quitting or cutting down on marijuana. It's a tale of being irresistibly drawn to something that I know holds too much power over me.
The Moment of Realization
What do people do when an object starts controlling their thoughts and actions? There's a moment of realization where you think, "Hold on, something isn't right; this isn't my purpose." That's where I am now, I took a puff of my vape during my lunch break and now I’m at a critical reflection point in my days of smoking, vaping, and eating marijuana. I'm starting to question if I'm just wasting my days away.
Gratitude and Its Limits
I used to believe marijuana helped me appreciate life, bringing gratitude into my everyday experience. And while I still feel there's truth in that, I've come to realize that my cup of gratitude is overflowing to the point of excess. I'm grateful for this life, sure, but it's become a gratitude dependent on a substance, and that's not okay with me.
A New Day, A Familiar Challenge
So, here I am, on yet another day trying to quit. Even as I write this, I'm contemplating a puff after work. I once prided myself on my mental strength, but my encounters with Mary Jane have left me doubting. This journey, then, is more than just about quitting; it's about reclaiming my mental fortitude and proving to myself that, as much as I love it, I can control it.
Here goes nothing
I'm embarking on this journey not just for myself but to share it with you. Perhaps, in my struggles and successes, there's something to be learned for you too.
